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Sabrina Heise

Editorial Assistant

True confessions: * Not as politically aware as I should be. * I bite my nails. * I didn't love the Sex and the City movie. * I am actually, really addicted to sugar and should probably be in a 12-step program. * By addicted, I mean, I lash out at people and get grumpy when I haven't had my sug...

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CelebREALity

This is another entry about a TV show. For some reason, all the shows lately have me completely bursting at the seams with commentary. My newest gripe is on the show Celebrity Rehab. Part of the latest of the grouping of shows VH1 likes to call “CelebReality,” this show seems like it would be a satire of how vulgar today’s television is. But it’s not. It’s a real show. VH1 has managed to wrangle up a group of people who have humiliated and debased themselves due to a need for attention and some sort of substance abuse, and put them before cameras as they “attempt” to get their lives back in order with Dr. Drew Pinsky (formerly of Loveline). This kind of TV freaks me out. Do they expect this show to be inspiring? That viewers are tuning in to watch these people turn their lives around for a brighter future? Or is VH1 hoping for more of their usual fare that comes from shows like The Surreal Life and Celebrity Fit Club, where producers hope that they can get a few hours of footage of D-List celebrities putting themselves into embarrassing situations and not accomplishing much of anything, except for a mixture of disgust and pity?

I watched no more than 3 minutes of that show, but in those 3 minutes, I’d seen more than enough. In the bit I saw, Mary Carey, a porn star (who also attempted to run for Governer of California!?!?!), talked about how she decided to turn her life around after making a promise to God that her mother would survive injuries from an attempted suicide. Footage of her tearful story of this revelation is mixed with photos of Mary in differing states of intoxication. The next scene is her at the rehab center. After she asks a spaced-out Chyna (of WWE and Surreal Life (in)fame(y)) if she can be her roommate, a staff member goes through her luggage, taking out prohibited items. Mary Carey throws a fuss as the woman takes away the three or four sex toys (Mary Carey brand, of course) and asks how she’s supposed to pleasure herself without her items.

And this is where I changed the channel. Whaaaat? What happened to the heartfelt story of her mother being near death and promising to God that she is going to change? Yet, there was more time spent on her talking about her sex toys than the whole premise of the show. Obviously, this show is not about making these people better. It is about putting together people who have substance abuse problems and hoping that they cause a scene, and catching each odd moment on tape.  As for the “celebrities” participating--well, if getting better was the truly their desire, they’d be at a rehab facility in private, not on a cable TV channel.

The bizarre mutual exploitation on this show--celebrities attempting to get into the public eye and a TV channel hoping these individuals will do enough bizarre things to get a couple episodes out of the deal--is sickening. In ancient Rome, the public watched as gladiators battled to the death. In the middle ages and onwards in Europe, executions were public, and the whole town came out to watch people be hanged or guillotined. The dementedness of this culture--that no one thought twice before putting this on television because they KNEW people would watch it--makes me embarrassed and ashamed. Is it going to take televised executions before people finally call for an end to this kind of “reality entertainment”?

These insider shows, the “investigative reporting” on celebrities’ pasts, paparazzi “upskirt” shots--all of these things allow us to be voyeurs. They allow us to pry and spy from the comfort of our own homes, without ever having to see what kind of damage it causes.

Heath Ledger, an incredibly talented young actor, died this week. After the initial shock subsided, people began nitpicking his final moments, his “dark past” and “pills scattered everywhere”--without a thought or care to his family, his child, his former partner. News agencies report these things because they think this is what we want to hear about. They are a business. They believe that people want to hear and they will continue to report this way until we finally say, “Enough.”